Hello everyone and welcome, I am Dr. G and this is my first blog post. I am a licensed mental health professional in the state of California, a mother to both a medically fragile and a typically functioning child, as well as a wife. I was a single mother to my medically fragile, now adult son, for the first 13 years of his life, so I know the struggles that take place when you are a caregiver parent. My doctoral research was conducted on caregiver parents, and what I found was exactly what I suspected. Caregiver parents are not like other parents, we deal with complex emotions due to the illnesses of our children, yet still are able to love them immensely.

Parenting in general has its challenges, and no kid is perfect. The caregiver parent, however, is expected to be both the caregiver and the parent with very little support in dealing with not only the emotional, but the physical ramifications that come with having medically fragile children. It is a unique situation to be in, and is very difficult for parents of typical functioning children to relate to us, thus leaving us in a minority were by nature we are isolated.

So what does this mean for us as caregiver parents? It means we know the realities of life that most don’t, that we are constantly faced with the unnatural thought process of potentially losing our children before we are gone from this earth, and still deal with all the normal stresses of parenthood. While to some this may seem like a bleak way to live, but we know we are blessed to have our children in our lives.

I was very young when I realize I was going to have to care for my son his entire life, and that felt very overwhelming. I couldn’t understand why this was happening, I didn’t have any frame of reference to help me manage not only the emotional journey but the physical journey that I would take in being a caregiver parent. So for me I dove headfirst into information. I read as many books, went to conferences, asked doctors, and of course went on the Internet to find out what my life could potentially be like the next 20 years. It was then that I decided to love my son for who he was and not who I wanted him to be.

If I’m being completely honest, there are times that it still feels very overwhelming and unmanageable. As my son grows older, there is always those bittersweet moments that crossed my mind. Well I am many things, I identify the most as being a caregiver parent. During my journey as a caregiver parent, I have met many other caregiver parents who have lost their children, some I knew some I didn’t, but it always had a huge impact on me emotionally.

Five years ago after I finished my doctorate degree in marriage and family therapy, I found myself with a lot of space to think. I had all this research I conducted and didn’t know the best way to get information out there. I will eventually publish my results, however I wanted to find a way to help other caregiver parents through their journey in a non-professional manor, caregiver parent to caregiver parent.

Caregiver parents are more likely to develop symptoms of depression and anxiety, have multiple physical injuries, and feel very isolated due to the ever-changing nature of caring for their child with disabilities. As a mental health professional, I wanted to find a way that would be helpful and practical for my fellow caregiver parents, to combat the symptoms of depression and anxiety. So the idea for this blog was born. It’s taken me five years to finally figure out what I want to do and how to do it but I’m excited for this journey and I hope you’ll share it with me.

Current research has shown that sewing, and my speculation added to that is crafting, helps to combat the symptoms of depression and anxiety. Why you ask? First of all it gives you something to think about other then why you have these symptoms. Second it’s something you can control. I know that if I follow a pattern, a tutorial, or a blog I am able to reproduce what it is that I want.

Caregiver parents learn very early on that they have no control of their daily lives. Whether they have a nurse call out sick, or their child has a bad day, or it’s one of the dreaded hospital stays, caregiver parents are constantly forced to adapt. Now that’s not unique to your parents however the unpredictability of their child’s trajectory of growth, health and/or life is what it takes the biggest toll but also what allows us to feel the biggest blessing. I am excited to share what I’ve learned over the past five years regarding sewing and crafting, and over the past 18 years regarding being a caregiver parent who is a mental health professional.